Did I ever tell you about the time I.......?

"Costa Coffee since 1971"   I saw the sign while I was sitting enjoying my capuccino and almond croissant.   Since 1971?...well that's no time at all I thought. But then looking around at the other latte and capuccino sippers I realised that most of them wouldn't have been born then!
I thought when it comes to going back in time you just haven't been born! (My thinking grammar is never very good.) And I know I was being condescending. But I'm of that age when we can't stop ourselves regaling people with stories of how things used to be...like:

How the dustmen used to come round on a horse drawn cart. Which is why we call them dustcarts (although I suspect that people aged under 50 don't!)
How trolley buses were powered by two long arms connecting to over-head electric cables.
How Woolworths sold biscuits loose from large tin boxes arranged on wooden counters.
Stories which when first told drew feint smiles of amusement...but when told again seem to leave us talking to ourselves!
And if truth be told that scenario isn't so different to what often occurs when we "mature executives" go on about our experiences in business. Reminding colleagues that "in our day we managed the salesforce perfectly well without mobile 'phones!" is about as useful and relevant in today's world as horse-drawn dustcarts! 
So clearly...keeping our wise advice relevant and in tune with a rapidly changing world business world is the first thing we should think about before offering it.

And the other thing is...have a point to what you're saying. Just like a story, if there is a point to it then people will listen and will appreciate its point.   And there is a point about experience. It's in that maxim about communication  ...we forget what we hear ...remember what we see...but understand what we do.
It is the understanding that comes from doing that gives experience its point.

• The mistakes and dead ends....their causes and their costs.
• The tactics that worked...the short cuts worth taking.
• The issues that deeply affected people.
• The financial and emotional gains from success.

And it is the quality of understanding of these relevant issues that gives experience its value...
Not the quantity of things remembered... or the number of years we go back!

Sorry sweetheart! ....What was you saying?

Well, we're one week into the World Cup and it's so far... so good!
And that's not just the the football...it's also the un-interrupted viewing that our loving and good-hearted partners are allowing us to have.
Which is why we really could have done without an article published in Thursday's Daily Mail headlined
 "Wives spend 6 days a year nagging their husbands!" 

 I mean to say...why risk upsetting things? And it wasn't as if the findings were such a surprise:-

• "The most common subject for nagging was not helping to tidy the home."
• "Other complaints included not helping to wash the dishes, drinking too much and not visiting the doctor to get checked out!"
• "Women were not ashamed about giving their partner a hard time to get them to do something. 

I think we probably knew all that...and we certainly didn't want to hear that:-

• "83 per cent of men surveyed said they often thought their partner was right to nag them!!".

But I guess that shouldn't be a surprise because let's face it lads we are pretty good at cocking a deaf 'un! There are several opinions on why that is but my favourite explanation comes from
Allan and Barbara Pease's briliant book Why men don't listen and women can't read maps. Linking back to the prehistoric days of cave dwellers they suggest that man the hunter...off alone for days on end had little need for language. Whereas woman was the homemaker and teacher...she necessarily communicated much, and so developed a vocabulary three times the size of man's. On man's return from hunting woman would talk with him...naturally using her more extensive vocabulary. Whereas man...accustomed to his own company was content to sit and gaze into the fire...offering the occasional grunt!

So if we do appear inattentive please understand that it is just a phenomenom of evolution.
Millions of years have irrevocably determined us to be firegazers
Intuitively we know that you are talking to us....but will use three words for every one that we would use.
So we instinctively wait...knowing that eventually you will refine your thoughts down to the minimum number of words that we can assimilate into our consciousness!

Because the good news is that nagging does work!  According to the study...of the men questioned, nearly half gave in after an hour and another 21% did so after two hours.
And two hours can be easily accommodated between the end of the 1.30 kick-offs and the start of the 7.30 games!!

Play up... Play up... and play the game!

What a week this is going to be. The World Cup kicks off on Friday with England playing their opener against the USA on Saturday.

And...the Outlook cricket season also gets under way!

 We were out Monday evening getting in some pre-match practice...well 7 of us were...the other 4 couldn't come out to play. Good old Bill did his customary sterling stuff, organising the practice ground and all the necessary equipment. We decided to pass on the protective box. It's bad enough sharing sweaty gloves...but a box???
Practice started promptly. Well I padded up and Bill lobbed some under-arms at me for 15 minutes until the young dudes from Digital Design and Video Production turned up. Then after 5 minutes fixing hair and turning up collars (Cantona style) we got into practice proper.
Being "in situ" with the pads I took the first 15 minutes batting practice....well 5 really by the time the dudes had stopped bowling wides. A problem that understandably embarrassed them....and prompted determined efforts to unsettle me with increasingly quick bowling.
Unfazed, I parried their best endeavours...missed a few... but generally attempted to knock the ball back towards the bowlers...with the occasional high one for catching practice. When I swopped bat for ball my altruism was not altogether reciprocated. Clearly still smarting with indignity over their bowling the dudes needed to reassert their "cool superiority" by hitting the bowling hard...and as far wide as possible from the bowlers!
But I understood. Feelings of Team Spirit....Camaraderie...Self-lessness prevailed...and I offered encouraging remarks to big hitting Jason and James. "You've played yourselves in nicely lads....certain to open the batting for the match I reckon!" That was Monday.

Last night was the match.

We got stuffed. The opposition found hitting 4's and 6's as difficult as flicking grape pips whilst reclining in a garden hammock. I bowled just two overs despite taking a wicket and temporarily slowing their remorseless progress to an eventual 163 runs.

When batting in reply...we didn't.  Our tactics of defensive block and singles ensured with mathematical certainty that we would play out the allocated 20 overs (120 balls) well short of target. It also ensured that I wouldn't have a chance to bat.

Today my feelings are different. Altruism has been replaced by recrimination. Anticipation has been usurped by realisation!
Wow listen to me getting all philosophical. But then maybe that's a good "life's lesson" to take out of the cricket. Never stop anticipating the next game!
Well...I've got 4 weeks of World Cup football to practice that!

For the last 10 years or so I've been very alert to any warning signs of grumpy old man syndrome!
There's not much you can do about most of the other "seniority" traits.... Like greying hair...if you still have any!  Forgetfullness...of the "what did I come in here for?" variety.  These things just happen. 
But becoming grumpy? You can get a grip of that and maybe prevent it.
After all what is the point of moaning? Moaning because my neighbour's thoughtless parking reduces a three-car space into two. Moaning because somebody who came into the coffee shop after me got served first!

No it's best just to get over it. Especially in my case because I'm not very good at articulating my angst! When I attempt to "have a word" I will always start off trying really hard to be calm and reasonable. Then, when as is generally the case, this is not reciprocated...a fuse blows...and I become the antithesis of incisive argument.  I display the poise and control of an unattended high pressure hosepipe that has been accidently turned on!!
But I've just found out where I've been going wrong. It's all explained in a new investigation carried out by scientists at the University of Valenica http://tinyurl.com/28j6uym   And the bottom line of this study seems to be that getting angry is extremely helpful when wanting to make your point!
Apparently when we get angry a series of things happen. The heart rate increases. Well no surprise there I can vouch for that. Also testosterone production increases. Well I suppose that's not a surprise really? It's been a while but I can certainly recall those red mist moments.
But as well as these reactions there are a couple of others that really interest me.
One is the effect on the stress hormone Cortisol.  Now I do remember Cortisol being explained to me once before and how it's presence impairs neuro-transmissions across the synaptic gap. Basically we lose our thinking efficiency. Anger actually reduces Cortisol!
And the other thing that anger does, according to the team at Valencia, is to stimulate the left hemisphere of the brain. Which of course is the side where all the rational and logical thinking happens.
So there it is. My well intentioned attempt at calm and reasonableness is the problem! Synaptic gap in shutdown and a by-pass of the logical thinking department. No wonder I couldn't win an argument with a wastepaper bin.
So here's the rallying call my fellow OnWeGo'ers.

Rediscover inside of yourself that angry young man!
Forget serene wisdom.
Don't be grumpy...get mad!
After all...it's good for testosterone too....so that's worth risking a black eye for!!!.
Right then... I 've had enough of that bloke down the road disturbing my sunday afternoon.
I'm off to give him some incisive advice!