Curing those post-christmas blues...

Here we are then....December 27th and the annual bout of post Christmas blues has kicked in. When counselling me this morning, Lynda asked "If you had to choose between a holiday in the sun or Christmas, which would you choose?"  "Easy" I said. "I could give up my annual holiday and I often have, but I could never give up Christmas!

What is it that makes Christmas so special to us?  For the believers amongst us there is of course only one answer to that.  For the
"semi and non" believers I guess we would talk about getting together with family and friends...the christmas presents we exchange...and all the food and drink that we feast on.     Once upon a time we would also have talked about the great programmes on TV.  No likelihood of that this year with the depression rendering plots of Eastenders and the oh so lost it The Royle Family occupying prime-time viewing slots on Christmas Night.

Speaking for myself I love everything about Christmas...particularly the preparation and the anticipation. Starting on December 1st and decorating the tree and the house in a totally camp way. Buying gifts and stocking-fillers  for every one. Watching the expressions of delight on Christmas morning. I love the feasting part too...including the excesses of sweets and nuts and Christmas cake. I do wonder about the tin of Christmas biscuits though that just sits on the side...but it wouldn't be Christmas without it.

And it wouldn't be Christmas if we didn't get that inevitable attack of post-christmas melancholy!  After all the anticipation and then the emotional frenzy of Christmas Day, it seems to abruptly come to an end.  I try various self-help remedies...like arranging my opened presents back under the tree as if Santa has yet to visit???? .....it doesn't really help!
I had always put my post-christmas blues down to the fact that I simply enjoyed all the anticipation. What I better understand now is that decorating the house for the admiration of visiting loved ones, cooking them the pre-christmas pasta, giving them presents that hopefully please are ways in which I can show the extent of my feelings. Knowing that if I attempted to say it in words, that I would get totally emotional and fill up....just as I do when watching that final scene of Elf with Will Ferrell when the crowd in Central Park need to sing to get Santa's sleigh to fly!!!  (Another essential part of the pre-christmas build up!)
And I reckon it's the same for most of us. Whatever are our beliefs or reasons for celebrating Christmas, it is that unique period in the year when not only do we share expressions of goodwill....but we also find a way to tell those we love...just how much we do. Then we stop...no wonder we feel melancholy!
So come on then.....to cure those post-christmas blues....carry on wishing others "all the best!" and telling people what they really mean to you. OnWeGo!!!!!!! 

Something of value for Christmas!

I cooked the annual pre-christmas "spag bol'" for my daughters and grand-children last night. Holly calls it my token spag bol' ...but she does mean it in the special occasion sense of the word. It's something the old silverback loves to do, and it is always greeted with great appreciation amongst the progeny who proclaim it the "best of all" bolognaise with "better than anyone else's" salad.

Inevitably the occasion becomes nostalgic, and last night was no exception when we viewed several boxes of the old 35 mm slides.  My daughter's suggestion, not mine! And of course 35 mm slides are bound to be nostalgic because we all gave up taking them 20 years ago. But they caused great amusement. For the fashions....those Kevin Keegan shorts will never come back! For the comparatively austere decor. For those furnishings some of which survive to this day (I don't think I could physically remove the three seater settees from my present home?)  And because the evidence from the slides was that it was always good old dad who played with the girls when they were small, whilst their mother seemed to spend all her time lying on a sun lounger!!
Watching these golden oldie moments I also found myself recalling situations that we encountered as a family. I probably applied a bit of rose tinted retro-viewing but it did seem that we showed good guidance as parents. We often joke about the ex's disciplined approach to bed time. I can't really believe that the girls were still being sent to bed before it got dark when they had reached their teens!!
So I was particularly interested to read today about recent research carried out at the University of Toronto's Rotman School of Management. on the impact of disciplined parenting. This extract from esciencenews explains it:
Children whose parents use a firm parenting style that still allows them to test the rules and learn from it are more likely to assume leadership roles as adults according to a new study published in a recent edition of The Leadership Quarterly. Researchers used data from a long-term Minnesota study of twins. They found that children raised with an "authoritative" parenting style – where parents set clear limits and expectations while also being supportive of their children – assumed more leadership roles at work and in their communities later in life. While these children were also less likely to engage in serious rule-breaking, children who did engage in serious rule-breaking were less likely to assume leadership roles."Some of these early examples of rule-breaking behaviour, more the modest type, don't necessarily produce negative outcomes later in life – that was fairly intriguing," says Maria Rotundo, a professor "It doesn't mean all children of authoritative parents are going to become leaders, but they are more likely to."

It certainly corresponds with what I had always believed about the early-years fixing of lifelong attitudes. And that says it all really....what I had always believed.  Because it is those beliefs and values that were instilled by those closest to us when we were first learning about things that remain with us, shaping our attitudes and behaviours throughout life.  If we were fortunate they will have been good values. Either way they become deeply rooted and all of us find it difficult to alter our habits and behaviours that are based on these beliefs. Something we clearly experience when we try to change what we regard as disappointing behaviour and attitude in others.

So here's a suggestion for any of us still struggling with what to give the little 'uns this christmas. As well as that  particular toy that was on the letter to Santa....which of course will be much loved but probably played out by next christmas....
.... how about giving the gift of a guiding value for life?

"Investigate things and how they work!"

One of my favourite reads is the weekly newsletter "eureka" from esciencenews.com.  It's a round up of scientific research going on just about everywhere on anything. As I got older I used to be surprised how much there was still to learn. Yes seriously... I really did. Then I got wise and realised that clever people recognise how little they do know. Then I grew out of my intellectual self-analysing phase and just enjoyed being curious!
 "Be curious" was the lesson I learned from a lovely old guy I once knew, who although well into his 80's, was mentally as sharp as they come. "Investigate things and how they work" was his philosophy.
It was this enquiring mind, coupled with his talents as a tool-maker that lead him to design and make a spinning top. Not any old spinning top but one that would hold the Guiness Book of Records title for the world's longest spinning top!  Yes he was purposeful as well.   Each day he would be up with the lark and into the local Tesco at opening time, no sleeping in for him. Although he never made a thing about it, Bill's enquiring mind was as fit as it would have been in his youth.
I remember back in '98 driving with him and his younger sister of 78 as as we visited a long lost relative in Essex. They were arguing in the back seat over the details of a similar journey they used to make as children travelling to see an Aunt from their home in Southend-on-Sea. Younger sister thought that she remembered the journey. Older brother Bill knew that he remembered it. Maybe that was the purposeful side kicking in. Why bother to remember all that detail? Unless of course it was to prove his younger sibling was wrong. But remember it he did, as he recalled with amazing detail all the images along the way.
Sadly I lost contact with Bill a few years ago but I'm sure he is still getting up early each morning... is giving himself a purpose for the day....has a "project" on his mind that he is questioning... and is trying to improve on the answers that he is given. Thanks for that Bill.