Something of value for Christmas!

I cooked the annual pre-christmas "spag bol'" for my daughters and grand-children last night. Holly calls it my token spag bol' ...but she does mean it in the special occasion sense of the word. It's something the old silverback loves to do, and it is always greeted with great appreciation amongst the progeny who proclaim it the "best of all" bolognaise with "better than anyone else's" salad.

Inevitably the occasion becomes nostalgic, and last night was no exception when we viewed several boxes of the old 35 mm slides.  My daughter's suggestion, not mine! And of course 35 mm slides are bound to be nostalgic because we all gave up taking them 20 years ago. But they caused great amusement. For the fashions....those Kevin Keegan shorts will never come back! For the comparatively austere decor. For those furnishings some of which survive to this day (I don't think I could physically remove the three seater settees from my present home?)  And because the evidence from the slides was that it was always good old dad who played with the girls when they were small, whilst their mother seemed to spend all her time lying on a sun lounger!!
Watching these golden oldie moments I also found myself recalling situations that we encountered as a family. I probably applied a bit of rose tinted retro-viewing but it did seem that we showed good guidance as parents. We often joke about the ex's disciplined approach to bed time. I can't really believe that the girls were still being sent to bed before it got dark when they had reached their teens!!
So I was particularly interested to read today about recent research carried out at the University of Toronto's Rotman School of Management. on the impact of disciplined parenting. This extract from esciencenews explains it:
Children whose parents use a firm parenting style that still allows them to test the rules and learn from it are more likely to assume leadership roles as adults according to a new study published in a recent edition of The Leadership Quarterly. Researchers used data from a long-term Minnesota study of twins. They found that children raised with an "authoritative" parenting style – where parents set clear limits and expectations while also being supportive of their children – assumed more leadership roles at work and in their communities later in life. While these children were also less likely to engage in serious rule-breaking, children who did engage in serious rule-breaking were less likely to assume leadership roles."Some of these early examples of rule-breaking behaviour, more the modest type, don't necessarily produce negative outcomes later in life – that was fairly intriguing," says Maria Rotundo, a professor "It doesn't mean all children of authoritative parents are going to become leaders, but they are more likely to."

It certainly corresponds with what I had always believed about the early-years fixing of lifelong attitudes. And that says it all really....what I had always believed.  Because it is those beliefs and values that were instilled by those closest to us when we were first learning about things that remain with us, shaping our attitudes and behaviours throughout life.  If we were fortunate they will have been good values. Either way they become deeply rooted and all of us find it difficult to alter our habits and behaviours that are based on these beliefs. Something we clearly experience when we try to change what we regard as disappointing behaviour and attitude in others.

So here's a suggestion for any of us still struggling with what to give the little 'uns this christmas. As well as that  particular toy that was on the letter to Santa....which of course will be much loved but probably played out by next christmas....
.... how about giving the gift of a guiding value for life?